I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
