The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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