He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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