why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
