He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm getting married
To pizza
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize