Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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