plz talk dirty to me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
