By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
