So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
