Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
