I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
