I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
