Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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