I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
