what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
