is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
