Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
