You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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