and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
