I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
