if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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