Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
