The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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