I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
