The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
