i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
