i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
