she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
