Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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