sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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