theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
