dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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