You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
