Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize