Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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