there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
