we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
