one two three fourrrrnication!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
