I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
