A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
