i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
