pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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