I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
