i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
