Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think my moral compass just broke
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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