dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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