don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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