we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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