Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
