so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
