Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
