So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
