What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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