Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
