is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
