Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
