At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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