her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
