will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize