it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
