ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
